activism (badlands) wrote in wentzwalker,

These Days [standalone]

Title: These Days
Author: morelikerelapse 
Pete Wentz/Jon Walker
Rating: R
Summary: An insight into their relationship, where the time spent together is few and far between.
Disclaimer: It's not real.

    The brief flash of yellow light was blinding in the dark. Jon had to squint his eyes whenever the dull glow appeared; before it grew it into that violent, split second pool of amber, yellow or white light- whichever headlights preferred. He always dreaded driving at night, but it was worth it to see Pete; or rather, most of him.

    The road names and scenery became familiar as he got closer to the hills, just where he had wanted to be, but not wanted, the past few weeks. Those things may have been familiar but everything else was a mystery- the heart he loved, the pulse that it beat, that smile in his eyes only every now and then. He was hopelessly devoted on good days.

    He was looking forward to looking back on this. How he’d feel was unknown.

    When he turned onto the road with the house he knew like his own, he could see the house lights on. Jon knew Pete was up waiting for him, just the way he loved him in his own way like that. But not the way Jon did. He parked and walked in unannounced, unnoticed.

    There was a loud ‘fuck’ grunted out from the kitchen and Jon made his way to that part of the house. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped when he saw the fire in the pan on top of the stove, immediately grabbing a towel to swat at it. “Grab some water,” he ordered to Pete before pulling his hand back when some sparks burned his fingers. Pete filled a glass with water and dumped it on the flames, extinguishing them. “What happened here?”

    “I made a grilled cheese sandwich… and forgot about it,” he said with a small grin- not devilish, but oddly endearing- before he began laughing at himself. “Just leave that mess there, I’ll clean it up later since you’re here now.” He grabbed for Jon’s hand and tugged him a bit closer before he was walking toward his bedroom.

    “Sure,” he nodded. “I’m glad I finally got to see you now, it’s been way too long, baby.” He walked up closer behind Pete, sliding his arm around his waist from behind as he followed Pete.

    “I know,” he said quietly, honestly. That was as far as that conversation ever went and Jon still didn’t understand why he always went weeks calling and missing Pete, with nothing in return but he did it anyway. There was never any understanding in love.

    Once they were in the bedroom, Pete turned around in Jon’s arm and began kissing his jaw. His tongue lightly licked up Jon’s chin before swiping over Jon’s bottom lip. Pete gently nipped the lip before his tongue was in Jon’s mouth, rubbing against his tongue with such desperation that Jon couldn’t help but let out a low moan.

    Jon’s large hands gripped Pete’s thin hips and his thumbs slipped under Pete’s shirt, sliding the hem up to his stomach. After a few minutes, Pete broke the kiss for air and pulled off his shirt. He smiled to himself, seeing Jon’s pink lips look red and slightly swollen before attaching his lips to Jon’s again. His hands trailed down Jon’s body before stopping at the waist of his jeans, undoing them and letting them fall down to Jon’s ankles.

    They shed their clothes like they shed any doubt when they were together, cause together it was right, and dropped down onto Pete’s bed. Their hands roamed all the spots they knew to roam as they rolled around the bed, becoming one for the night.

    The next morning, Jon woke up with Pete curled in his arms. The fog was thick outside the window, clouding out the rest of the world. He looked down at Pete and couldn’t help but still feel far apart from him, closed off from him, even if his body was pressed against his. There were things he didn’t know about Pete and all this time apart made it worse, harder on him and easier for Pete to keep himself behind this wall.

    He carefully pulled his arms out from around Pete’s body and eased his way out of the bed, as to not wake him. Jon walked to the window and pushed it open, sticking his head out a bit to take in some fresh air. It wasn’t long before Pete woke up and had joined Jon at the window, sliding his arm around Jon’s stomach.

    Pete placed a gentle kiss on Jon’s shoulder, mumbling, “what are you doing?” as he nuzzled Jon’s shoulder.

    Jon turned his head and looked at Pete before looking back out the window. “Just thinking,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I guess.” He stuck his head back out the window when he heard thunder rumble across the gray sky, smiling slightly and took in a deep, cleansing breath. The clouds were just waiting to release the rain and Jon would be ready for it- he was always the guy that believed the rain washed away anything bad, leaving you to start over with the good if one chose to.

    Pete grabbed Jon’s hips and turned him around so they were face to face. “Come on,” he smiled, “let’s just spend the day in bed.” Jon just nodded his agreement and let Pete lead him back into the bed, wrapping them up with the pile of sheets that lay on top of it.

    Jon took his normal position on the bed, wrapping his arms back around Pete. “Hey?” He mumbled as he kissed his head. Pete looked up at him and nodded, as if to allow Jon to ask his question. “How come we only see each other when it works for you? I mean… I miss you when you don’t miss me and I’d like to see you more often…”

    He took an excruciating slow breath and cleared his throat, looking down at the end of the bed to avoid Jon’s eyes. “It’s because you’re already too close to me. You can’t get closer. This is just… it’s as much as I can give you, Jon…” Jon nodded a little, not knowing what else he could say to that. “I do love you a lot, Jon.” Pete leaned up and kissed his lips.

    That night while Pete slept, Jon crept out of bed again and pulled on his clothes. With the light from the moon coming in through the window, he could see the red marks on his fingers from the sparks that burned out on his fingers. He was (for some reason he couldn’t explain) disappointed by such a small reminder- maybe he just wanted more.

    He looked down at Pete and watched him sleep for a few minutes, knowing how Pete loved him in the way he knew how, before he quietly left; got in his car and drove off without waking Pete at all cause he knew he couldn’t stay.

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